Janelle's first field trip

Yesterday, the school brought the students out to East Coast Park for outdoor activities and to learn about the weather. It was Janelle's first field trip and I decided to tag along to find out more about the trip and to watch out for her.

Lucky we were blessed with a good weather though it was a lil too hot & sunny (well, better than rainy day) and we had fun for the half-day trip.

There were telematch games, sing-along songs, dance and sandplay for the lil ones. The teachers were thoughtful enough to involve the parents for the activities such as games. For the first game, parents have to hold onto the cone and turned 3 rounds, carry our kid and run to the end, picked up the hula hoop and our kid have to roll the hula hoop back to the starting point. There were 3 teams with 8 pairs in each team and our team won! I must say that Janelle has done well (as I was initially concerned if she understood what she has to do in the game).

As Janelle loves singing and dancing, she was one of the first few kids who hurried to the centre of the performing area when the music started playing. Such spontaneity at a young tender age! One parent even commented to me that my girl is so active (as she was dancing non-stop).

I was taken by surprise when the teachers requested for the parents to do the hula hoop contest. Frankly, it has been quite a while since I last played with the hula hoop and I really don't know if I still have what it take. And I was even more pleasantly surprised that I can still play with the hoop and I emerged as the winner. Janelle was excited and she wanted to play with the hula hoop too. I'm glad that I inspired her to learn something new.

I was pretty baffled why the teachers would choose East Coast Park if they have intention for the kids to play with sand. I realised that the sand at the park are coarse and dirty. Wouldn't it be better if they brought the kids to Siloso Beach instead? The sand there are whiter and finer. But i guess sand are the same to the kids everywhere. The moment they see sand, they can't wait to play with it.

Overall, it was a fruitful and fun trip for Janelle (and myself). I must say that she is getting more well-behaved and independent as she will listen to her teachers and follow instructions. I saw some kids running all over and some were very attached to their parents and refused to participate in the activities as they were more comfortable hanging around their parents. It was a great bonding session with my girl too! I will definitely join in her future excursions as long as parents are welcome.

I heard that the school are planning the next trip to be at the zoo! One of my favourite places to visit in Singapore. I told Janelle about it and she was excited. This morning, she even asked me if she is going to the zoo today. I know she is looking forward to the trip. So do I.

Getting ready to board the bus

Her winning prize from the telematch game. Loves her smile!

Nice try with the hula hoop

Sandplay

A group photo of her class and her teachers

Another group photo with monkey faces. Now she knows how to pose with monkey faces (thanks to her yiyi and her favourite cousin, Megan)

  

Siblings resemblance

If you refer to the pictures below, you may think that they are twins or they may be the same person.

Taken when they were 6 months old: Janelle on the left and Jayven on the right

Taken when they were ONE: Jayven on the left and Janelle on the right

Jayven do resemble Janelle in her infant years. It is amazing how siblings can resemble each other even though they are 3 years apart.

It is a joy to flip through the pictures and discovered that they do look alike and hence the comparison above. Even Janelle will get confused and she will guess that it is didi when i pointed out a picture of her taken when she was an infant.

Looks may change over time. I do not think that Jayven will look like Janelle when he is older but I believe that there will be similar traits that can identify both of them as siblings.

The challenges of parenting

Since September 2009 when my girl arrived in this world, I have embarked on an exciting and rewarding journey as a mummy. But along with the journey, I realised that role of parenting is not easy at all.

During the infancy stage, I was often tensed about the safety and health of the 2 kids. A minor illness would make us worried and we would bring them to the pediatrician just to be assured that everything is well with the kids. Such anxiety will usually apply to the firstborn as parents should be pretty composed for the subsequent babies. However, Jayven was a preemie and he needed more care and attention then. We did not want to take any chance by dismissing any illness.

As they joined the toddler world, we face more challenges such as discipline, addressing behavioural problems and disturbing habits.

Discipline
Discipline remains as one of the toughest challenges in parenthood. The old-fashioned ways of discipline such as caning, slapping or yelling no longer works. Nowadays, the toddlers are smarter. They will question the adults and they need to be convinced. As parents, we have to explain or justify our actions to them, be it a compliment, reward or punishment. Time-outs doesn't work for us as Janelle has very short attention span and she is not able to sit still for long. I will always try to refrain from spanking her or reprimanding her. Instead I will talk to her nicely and explain to her why certain behaviours are not desirable. I always believed that motivation and compliments works well regardless of age. Hence I will always make an effort to motivate her to behave well and praise her when she done the right things.

Behavourial problems
One of the most common behaviourial problems that all parents will face should be tantrums. With Janelle, I learnt that the best way to manage her tantrums will be to keep calm myself. In the past, I may lose my cool and ended up reprimanding her or I will give in to her demands especially if we were in public places. I realised that I never felt good reprimanding her or giving in to her demands and I have to approach her tantrums more constructively. In order to educate her that I will not tolerate such behaviour, I told myself that I will not behave like her by 'throwing a tantrum in reprimanding her' neither will I give in to her demands during her tantrum fits. And the best way to do so is to stay calm and ignore her tantrums so that I will not lose my cool or give in too easily. I must say that it does works for me. Seeing that we are not reacting to her tantrums, she knows that it is time to stop her tantrums and she will seek attention in an affectionate way instead.

Disturbing habits
Few months back, Janelle had an embarrassing habit that was really disturbing ie nose-picking! I have tried many methods to get her to stop picking her nose but it seems like mission impossible. I realised that the reason why she has been picking her nose was due to the huge flow of mucus that were making her uncomfortable. I went to read up on the causes of nose-picking and learnt that certain environmental conditions such as air-conditioning will dry up their nasal passage, making it more likely for them to pick their noses. Since then, we have been more diligent in utilizing the humidifier in our room so that the air-conditioning will not dry up her nasal passage. I discovered that she has not been picking her nose recently. I hope she has gotten rid of the habit.

Every child is unique and has different personality. And every parent has a different set of parenting style, rules and expectations. There is no standard set of parenting style that works for every child. What may works for one child does not necessarily works for another. Eventually, the parents know their children best and what works the best for them. Most importantly, be consistent so that the child understand our expectations in them and learn that their certain behaviours will lead to certain outcomes.

Greater challenges await us as our kids enter into their teenage years.
Parenting: It is a lifetime commitment and responsibility to our children. To care for them, nurture them and to protect them. 

Slowing down the pace

In the past, I was always in a mad rush. The madness started in the mornings by waking my girl up and prep her for school, sending her to school before rushing to work. On crazy days packed with meetings, I have no time for breakfast and work piled up as I sat in one meeting after another. After meetings, I have to rush to clear the urgent matters on hand and soon it will be knock off time. I dread OT (well, who don't?) hence I always try to leave work on the dot so that I can spend time with my family especially with my kids before they go to bed. Having dinner together, getting the groceries, bathing the kids and playing with them before tucking them in for bed. Thereafter, I need to continue work if I brought work home and it will be past midnight by the time I can sleep.

On good nights, Jayven will wake up twice for his night feeds and return to sleep after his milk. On crazy nights, he can wake up every hour screaming and crying and refuse milk. Those are the nights that I really dread as it means that I will be very tired at work the next day due to lack of sleep.

Time never seem enough then. I became very quick-tempered as I needed to complete multiple tasks daily. I'm either rushing my girl to get changed for school, rushing to work, rushing to clear my work before 6.30pm, rushing for meetings, rushing within deadlines, rushing for approval, clearing work emails on the mobile, attending to urgent calls past work hours with my kids screaming for my attention, rushing the kids to take their bath before it's too late, rushing the kids to go to bed before I have to continue my work or turn in for the night before reporting for the night duty. There are too many tasks that I target to complete each day and I needed them to move as planned and it has to be fast. Anything that falls short of my expectations, I will get extremely irritated and frustrated. The conclusion: I led a very fast-paced and stressful lifestyle, juggling many roles in life and trying to maintain a healthy balance between work and family.

Eversince I left my job and devote my time to the family, I realised that my pace is gradually slowing down. The 1st week into being SAHM, I was still checking my phone every 5 minutes (feeling the need to check my email only to realize that i no longer have a work email account) and I rushed through the house chores and whatever tasks I had to do, wanting to get as many things done within the shortest time possible. I guess I was too used to my past lifestyle as a FTWM.

5 weeks into a full time mummy, my pace has slowed down and I no longer rush through the tasks. I become more attentive and detailed to the needs of my kids and my hubs. I become more patient with them. I can enjoy the time that I spend with my family, not having to rush through tasks, worry about pressing work issues on hand or get distracted by work calls. My family is all that I have to look out for now and I just need to give them 100% of myself and lots of TLC on a daily basis. Of course, I will find ME time for spa pampering sessions and catch up with my friends to remain sane.

Gone are the days of living a hurried life. Time to slow down and treasure the time with those who matters to me :)

The kids need me

It has been a month since I stopped work. It also means that I have no income and it's time to spend wisely.
Frankly, there are many times that I felt uneasy for not being financially independent. Afterall, I have been working for years, earning my own monies and spending on my wants. But now, I have to think thrice before spending. Definitely challenging for a shopaholic like me.

I felt apologetic that my hubs have to bear all the expenses and I am unable to contribute to ease the financial strain. Recently, he had to work late in the office and I really felt bad that he has to work doubly hard now for the family.

Despite his heavy workload and stress, he has been so sweet and supportive. I felt bad and to a certain extent, useless for not being able to contribute to ease the financial strain (especially with the higher and higher living standards in our country). Yet he comforted and reminded me that the kids need me now.

With a 4 yo who want to be independent by insisting that she can do everything on her own and an extremely active 1 yo who will climb everywhere (regardless assisted or unassisted) and happily shoving anything that he can gets his hands on into his mouth, they definitely need a dedicated person to watch them 24/7, care for them, guide them and ensure that they are not hurt. And mother ie ME will be the most ideal candidate. Yes, the kids do need me. I am contributing to the family by ensuring that the kids are well taken care of. I am happy and contented. Not only because I know that the kids will be well under my care but I also know that my hubs understand and appreciate what I have done for the family.

It has always been a concern that couples will argue over money matters and blame each other for not being understanding to what they are facing at work or at home (have seen too many drama serials and listened to many real life stories). Nonetheless, I know that my hubs understand and he is fully aware that it is definitely not easy managing 2 kids. Of course, I played my part as the understanding wife to his work. Being in the workforce for years, I can totally understand how demanding and competitive it is out there.

Well, I know I will continue to feel redundant for not being financially independent from time to time but I also feel appreciated, knowing that my hubs understand that I am devoting my time to our kids and our kids will benefit and grow well under my undivided care and attention.

I love you my dear! Thank you for all that you have done and given to the family.
Our promise to each other: Stay loving forever and travel around the world together.

Our honeymoon

lil chef at work

Janelle has been enjoying school especially gym class and cooking class. Every Thursday, they will learn a simple & easy to prepare dish.

2 weeks back, she shared that she learnt how to prepare mashed potato in school. So I asked her how she prepared the dish and whether it was yummy. Guess she must have enjoyed the session as she remembered what ingredients were being used and the process. She rattled on that teacher gave them potato & they used fork to mash mash mash the potato then put butter and milk inside the bowl & continue to mash mash mash. She even proudly said that she finished the dish in her bowl and she liked it.

Since then, she has been telling us that she want to prepare mashed potato at home. I can't wait to see my lil chef at work hence I prepared the pre-boiled potatoes for her to exhibit what she has learnt from school.

She can't wait to mash the potatoes

A close up shot

Adding milk into the mashed potato

Mixing them together

Happily savouring her own masterpiece

Didi get to eat too. And he loved the dish

It was very yummy! Even yummier that some of the mashed potato that we have eaten. I would have never imagine that my girl would prepare her first dish for the family at the age of 3 and a half years old.

Good job Janelle! Mummy is so proud of you.
I'm sure that many more recipes will come along the way and this lil chef will whip up more dishes for us to savour. Definitely looking forward!

Birthday celebrations for Jayven

Jayven turns one! It is time to celebrate and have fun :)

We invited our relatives and friends to join in his birthday celebration over the long weekend and we brought the 2 kids to Universal Studio on his actual day. Well, we brought Janelle to USS on her first birthday and we have to play fair to Jayven. Haha! And we can visit the new kid on the block, Sesame Street! But we totally missed the Sesame Street show and my girl's fav character, Elmo. Nonetheless, they had fun though Jayven was afraid of mascots but he did not burst out crying when we bring him near them. My brave boy!

Me & the birthday boy!

He had fun in the party

Jayven's 1st birthday cake - Baby Mickey from Bengawan Solo

The happy family

I love this shot of my boy standing

Jayven was trying to get away from the mascot. Well, he do not really like mascots yet.

Still fearful of mascot

Jayven turns one!

I can still remember clearly that a year ago (31 March 2012), there were signs of show & I was admitted to TMC. My gynae has advised for the jab to strengthen my baby's lungs in event of premature delivery (cannot remember the name of the jab though). No signs of bleeding the next day and i was discharged but advised to be on bed rest till week 38 before i deliver.

But the following morning (2 April 2012), I started to bleed again and was advised by my gynae to proceed to observation ward. My gynae suggested for me to stay in TMC (bed rest) for the next 2 weeks before delivery as I was only into my 34 weeks of pregnancy then.

When my gynae returned 3 hours later, I realised that I was having regular contractions & I have to deliver my baby via emergency C-sect. It was a stressful moment for me and my hubs as we were informed that if baby weighs less than 2kg, he has to be in ICU then. I was definitely not prepared for premature delivery, not at 34 weeks.

Thanks goodness Jayven came out weighing 2.125kg (just passed the 2kg mark) and he has to be in ICU for the 1st two hours only. When I first saw him, he was such a tiny baby and I was so worried that I may not know how to manage a preemie. He was not even 3kg when he was one month old.

Being a strong baby, he slowly caught up in terms of weight and development.

Time really flies! Today Jayven turns one and I am happy that he is healthy and developing well. Being a lil sunshine (he is a smiley boy), this lil charmer never fails to bring a smile to people around him. Though he behaves like a lil terror at home, he is a joy to be with and I love to watch him and his sister at play.


I wish that he will stay healthy and happy always. And share a good relationship with Janelle as they grow up together.

Happy 1st birthday Jayven! Daddy, Mummy and JieJie love you deeply!

Newborn weighing 2.125kg, looking tiny next to jiejie

2nd day into the world

Sunny smile

I'm a lil sunshine!

Smiley boy

I love to smile!

Look at me! I am ONE