Since September 2009 when my girl arrived in this world, I have embarked on an exciting and rewarding journey as a mummy. But along with the journey, I realised that role of parenting is not easy at all.
During the infancy stage, I was often tensed about the safety and health of the 2 kids. A minor illness would make us worried and we would bring them to the pediatrician just to be assured that everything is well with the kids. Such anxiety will usually apply to the firstborn as parents should be pretty composed for the subsequent babies. However, Jayven was a preemie and he needed more care and attention then. We did not want to take any chance by dismissing any illness.
As they joined the toddler world, we face more challenges such as discipline, addressing behavioural problems and disturbing habits.
Discipline
Discipline remains as one of the toughest challenges in parenthood. The old-fashioned ways of discipline such as caning, slapping or yelling no longer works. Nowadays, the toddlers are smarter. They will question the adults and they need to be convinced. As parents, we have to explain or justify our actions to them, be it a compliment, reward or punishment. Time-outs doesn't work for us as Janelle has very short attention span and she is not able to sit still for long. I will always try to refrain from spanking her or reprimanding her. Instead I will talk to her nicely and explain to her why certain behaviours are not desirable. I always believed that motivation and compliments works well regardless of age. Hence I will always make an effort to motivate her to behave well and praise her when she done the right things.
Behavourial problems
One of the most common behaviourial problems that all parents will face should be tantrums. With Janelle, I learnt that the best way to manage her tantrums will be to keep calm myself. In the past, I may lose my cool and ended up reprimanding her or I will give in to her demands especially if we were in public places. I realised that I never felt good reprimanding her or giving in to her demands and I have to approach her tantrums more constructively. In order to educate her that I will not tolerate such behaviour, I told myself that I will not behave like her by 'throwing a tantrum in reprimanding her' neither will I give in to her demands during her tantrum fits. And the best way to do so is to stay calm and ignore her tantrums so that I will not lose my cool or give in too easily. I must say that it does works for me. Seeing that we are not reacting to her tantrums, she knows that it is time to stop her tantrums and she will seek attention in an affectionate way instead.
Disturbing habits
Few months back, Janelle had an embarrassing habit that was really disturbing ie nose-picking! I have tried many methods to get her to stop picking her nose but it seems like mission impossible. I realised that the reason why she has been picking her nose was due to the huge flow of mucus that were making her uncomfortable. I went to read up on the causes of nose-picking and learnt that certain environmental conditions such as air-conditioning will dry up their nasal passage, making it more likely for them to pick their noses. Since then, we have been more diligent in utilizing the humidifier in our room so that the air-conditioning will not dry up her nasal passage. I discovered that she has not been picking her nose recently. I hope she has gotten rid of the habit.
Every child is unique and has different personality. And every parent has a different set of parenting style, rules and expectations. There is no standard set of parenting style that works for every child. What may works for one child does not necessarily works for another. Eventually, the parents know their children best and what works the best for them. Most importantly, be consistent so that the child understand our expectations in them and learn that their certain behaviours will lead to certain outcomes.
Greater challenges await us as our kids enter into their teenage years.
Parenting: It is a lifetime commitment and responsibility to our children. To care for them, nurture them and to protect them.
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